Testing

Yesterday I wrote about the courage it takes to greet someone we don’t know — that small but radical act of stepping toward connection rather than away from it. Today I’m thinking about how difficult that step has become in our culture. We live in a world that is quietly training us to retreat: to keep our heads down, our earbuds in, our circles small, our hearts guarded. The drift is toward separation.

But the life of faith has always moved in the opposite direction. God calls us toward intimacy — with Him, and with one another — and that call often feels like swimming upstream. Where do we find the courage for that?

One passage of the Bible says, “I look to the hills… from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Some people look toward help coming from what they can see in the world, what they believe is lasting - like hills or mountains. People who know God, know that there is one who made the hills, one who is stronger.

Abraham is one of the first people in Scripture who shows us what a relationship with God can look like. He speaks with God. He listens. He follows. He trusts. We often describe him as courageous, and he certainly was. He led men into battle to rescue his nephew. He stood before God and argued for the lives of strangers in Sodom. He was bold when boldness was needed.

But when we look at Abraham’s closest relationships, we see a different pattern. He doesn’t advocate for Sarah in moments when she is vulnerable. He doesn’t protect Hagar or Ishmael. And when God calls him to sacrifice Isaac — the son he had waited decades to hold — Abraham is silent. The man who argued with God for the sake of a city does not argue for the life of his own child.

The text says God “tested” Abraham. Many people hear that word and imagine God checking to see if Abraham would pass or fail. But Scripture often uses the language of testing the way a metalworker tests steel — not to condemn it, but to strengthen it. Testing reveals what is inside. Testing refines. Testing forms.

What if God was not testing Abraham’s obedience so much as Abraham’s intimacy? What if the test exposed a place in Abraham’s heart where courage had not yet grown — the courage to care deeply for those closest to him, the courage to speak honestly with God about his fear, the courage to step toward relationship rather than away from it?

Abraham trusted God profoundly, but he struggled to trust intimacy. Many of us know that tension. We can be brave in public and hesitant in private. We can show up for strangers but stay quiet with the people we love. We can trust God with the big things and still feel unsure how to trust Him with the tender places inside us.

And yet God meets Abraham right there — in the silence, in the confusion, in the place where courage has not yet matured. God does not abandon him. God does not shame him. God provides. God stays. God continues the relationship.

What if God placed before Abraham an act that was tragically common in his world — child sacrifice — not because God desired it, but because Abraham needed to walk through the fear and confusion with God in order to grow in intimacy with God and his own son?

Have you ever gone through a hard season and asked, “God, why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?” That question assumes punishment. But what if the experience is not punishment at all? What if it is a moment in which God invites us to walk with Him so that our relationship grows stronger, deeper, more courageous?

When the Bible says that God uses all circumstances for our benefit, it isn’t telling us that he makes these things happen. It’s saying God isn’t frightened by our circumstance and he isn’t put off by our having to struggle. Within those moments we can find God’s presence, his care and his assurance.

What might have happened if Abraham had turned to God and said, “What are you talking about?” Perhaps God would have responded, “I’m asking you to care more deeply for those closest to you.” What if God’s call was for Abraham to grow in love — to grow in intimacy — with his children, his wife, and even with God Himself?

God calls us to grow in intimacy and in courage by taking steps that admit our fears, steps that walk through and past those fears, steps that teach us our fears and anxieties do not have the final word. These are steps, not strides. God knows our frailty. He knows where we are weak. But He also knows what we can do when we learn to rely on Him.